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saying no – make space for change

Since 2008, I’ve been teaching Pilates, doing various learning and development roles, playing in a band, seeing friends, visiting places, learning new stuff, enjoying my wonderful partner, becoming a very proud godmother and more. Oh and building to going solo in 2013. It’s been a struggle trying to find a balance (hmmm note to self: get real, it still is at times!) and yes I’ve messed up, missed things and managed to both upset and please a few folks along the way.

The view from my desk :-)

The view from my desk 🙂

I want to stretch my life, just as you do. I want to enjoy every minute. I want lovely people in it, at work, at home and in play. I want more time by the seaside with the wind in my hair. I want two miniature dachshunds. AND I want to be a catalyst for others’ change and stretch to create the lives they want and deserve.

One of my big “a-ha” moments was to get focused. What is really important? What is helping me get where I want to be and what’s hindering me? (Let me know if you’re interested in my musings on the first two for future b-mails) I recognised I got one BIG blocker, my “yes” reflex is WAY stronger than my “no” reflex. After all saying “yes” is being generous with my time, talents and love, right?

It’s also a wonderful way to side track, dodge and postpone change. Jim Rohn also has a take on this: “If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.” Mine is to say “yes” at the expense of my own change.

So, I’m taking a stance – why not join me? – I’m laser focused and will be saying no to build, motivate and create positive change in my life and in others’. How? Good question.

First off, I’m going to hold off my “yes” and ask a question or two. Of myself – how much do I value this person and how could this fit into my picture?

By sense checking my response to my goals and moderating it against my relationships, I’m finding a way to make this decision in a way that fits my values (Notice in my big picture, people feature A LOT!) and keeps stretching my life.

I’m able to soften saying no by explaining the misfit to my laser focus and I’ve found those who respect and care for me, value my honesty. I still cheat sometimes and say yes and negotiate a different scope or timeline, but I keep trying. I want to stretch my life – and say yes to the work, fun and people that make it so brilliant!

Does this resonate with you? Are you reading this with a little voice saying “hey, I do that!”. Let’s build a list to help us all in saying no to get us where we want to be! How do you say no to make space for your change?

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