And sometimes nor do we. We hold onto experiences or emotional reactions, unable to let go or it, like a prized jewel. Reliving them. Setting our future expectations by them. Deciding our own next steps based on them.
This can be hugely valuable. It can prevent us from falling into the same “trap” – the proverbial fingers in the plug socket scenario. It can help us identify dangers and protect ourselves. We can tell if someone is trying to trick us or simply be friend us.
However, what happens when these memories start to misbehave?
We create self-fulfilling life scripts. “People like me never get good jobs”. “With my track history, I’m bound to be single forever”. “Last time, I tried I failed so it won’t ever work”. We start to live by these “new” rules or definitions. We modify our behaviours to suit them. We change our directions to meet them. Rather than protect us, our memories block and bar our paths.
Changing these habitual patterns is hard. It takes effort, energy and a good dose of willpower. I would love to own a magic wand or special potion to fix them. I don’t. Instead, I hold the potential to unlock the emotion, unblock your thinking and create new patterns for you via coaching.
The connections and progress I see clients make could sometimes appear to be magic, but it is real and it is life changing. The ripple effect stretches beyond the original objective of the coaching relationship into wider aspects of their lives.
What I always find is uplifting is how often I hear the support, motivation and encouragement my clients get when embarking on changing their scripts and habits.
Rather than judging or being discouraging, family, friends and colleagues are delighted to hear they have recognised what’s happening and are willing to change. They want the best for them.
I’m sure the same is true for you. Rather than sticking with your badly behaving memories, I’d encourage you to be more like a chameleon. Accept your past and adapt to your future.
Where in your “day to day”, do you let old memories decide your next move? Stay alert this week and try to spot them. Share them with us and with those you trust – we’re all here to support you in taking charge of them.
Not sure how to change yours? Let me know and we can set-up a short consultation to see what might help.