One of the things I’m known for is seeking the positive in whatever or whoever is around me. I’m sure there is a silver lining to be found. These shining wonders help us be brave, start new things, keep going and change our worlds.
Sounds easy right? Hmmmm not always. Tough situations, experiences and relationships exist in all our lives. Spotting your silver lining can be quick, but often needs time. Time to sit with it. Time to dwell. Time to grieve or let the frustration dissipate. Time for the lightbulb to go on.
That time finding your silver lining can encourage you to give up, think small or worse, develop mental blockers to achieving your potential futures. As a coach, I find this process of helping people, like you, shift their perspective, examine their mindset and find their silver lining a real motivator.
In coaching, we call it “reframing” – taking off the old frame, dusting or repairing our recalled experience and putting a new frame on it. What does this look and feel like in reality? It involves an open, curious, non-judgemental analysis by you with facilitated questions, observations and numerous hypotheses from me. Some coaches will follow set methods and others are more free form in style. Me? I flex to suit your preferences. Discovering a silver lining can be a bit of a shock to your system (Like a lit lightbulb – hot, when touched. Ouch!) and at the same, also like an energising leap forward!
When does reframing help? When you want to throw in the towel. When you can’t see your next step. When it feels like Groundhog day. When an experience keeps replaying in your mind, disturbing and distracting you. When your gut is telling you to stop avoiding something and focus on it.
How? Drop me a line – if we’re a good fit, let’s talk. If not, I’ve a wealth of fellow coaches with different expertise who could help you.
Or….. try asking yourself a few of these and see where that takes you:
What would you like to reframe? A behaviour? An experience?
What happened chronologically?
How would someone else describe it? (e.g. the other person, an observer, a CCTV camera, etc.)
What helped you? (Supported you, your actions or your resolve?)
What hindered you? (Self? Others? Resources?)
What “rules” were you applying or sticking to?
What do you need to let go of, in order to find your silver lining?
What is shining out at you now?
Now, describe what happened with your reframed perspective. Notice how you feel now. Lighter? Tension going from your neck, shoulders and forehead? Driven to move forward with your change? Hurray! Hang on there’s more I can offer you.
Some bonus extras – With your new reframe in mind:
What would you do now, if you knew you had all the resources you need?
What would you do now, if you knew you couldn’t fail?
Now, decide on your next step and do it!
I’d love to hear how you use this technique – it works on big and small, simple and complex, happy or sad. It also works well with a friend or safe colleague as a conversation. Share your newly identified silver linings in the comments 🙂