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selling yourself short

When I’m running out the door to a big day, I can guarantee my wonderful boy’s voice will be ringing in my ears saying “you rock the mostest” and when I get in, he’ll ask how things went. My typical answer goes a bit like this: “it was ok…..I forgot to say this bit…..I wish I’d do this that way….someone made this comment….but it was ok” and you know what his response is? “Sarae, you’re really great at what you do. I’m sure it was amaaaazing from your client’s/clients’ point of view”. Yep I drive him slightly mad selling myself short.

At networking or training events, I happily share my business purpose and the range of different services it encompasses. I’m far less comfortable saying my style is unique, my clients find real personal and professional benefits in working with me and I am worth way more than every pound or euro I charge.

Hmmmm why is that? It’s the truth. I do give my clients great, memorable, life enhancing experiences. You might challenge me and say I fear “being found out” or that I feel like an impostor. Yep, that could be a reason; it’s not mine (I genuinely believe I’m good at what I do and I love growing my abilities further). Or perhaps I’m a bit introverted or uncomfortable sharing things that are dear and important to me. Again, not my reasons.

For me, there’s this little voice that says nice people don’t show off or brag about themselves. Arrogance and inflated egos are real turn-offs to me and qualities I hope never to demonstrate.

I hear people selling themselves short fairly often. I’m left wondering do they even notice they’re doing it and what is it doing to their self esteem, belief and confidence. Do you find yourself doing this too? At work? On dates? At interviews? During appraisals? With friends or colleagues? Yikes. This could have a massive impact on you leading the life you want.

Here’s my way to marketing and selling yourself in a balanced, honest, authentic way:

1)     Answer these questions honestly:

  1. Your name (Are you’re a Rebecca, Bexs, Becky, Becca or even which with whom?)
  2. Your expertise (Mine are Coach, Trainer and Pilates Instructor)
  3. Your specialisms (I work with people who want to change their life for the better AND I do it in an energetic, empathetic way)
  4. Your unique factor (A story, example, fact or interesting “hook” to aid their memory or build their curiosity)
  5. Your “What’s in it for you” factor (why they should want to work/be/share/do with you)

2)     Now ask a few trusted friends, colleagues, mentors, clients…..anyone who’s opinion you respect…..to answer questions b-e for you without sharing yours first. (You can do this anonymously via online tools like typeform or survey monkey.)

3)     Compare both versions and spot any differences. (Yes you can cringe a little here if it helpsJ)

4)     Refine to create a version that accurate describes you in all your true glory.

5)     Then get out there and use it, share it, upload it, say it with a smile, your shoulders back and head held high.

You might take this to form a verbal introduction (elevator or 60 second pitch) or your summary and headline on LinkedIn. You might discover the keywords for your SEO or your tag line. Another approach to this outside of work and business, could be to tweak the above questions for a online dating profile. Switching b and c to:

  1. Your best qualities and personality traits
  2. Your favourite activities

This week, listen out and try to catch when you sell yourself short. Does it happen in similar situations or is it a consistent “thing” for you? Try out the little exercise and share in the comments your new approach to marketing yourself without selling yourself short.

If you know someone who does this and you want to help them, please feel free to share this page with them.

  • Robert

    Love the simple approach to create clarity in the mind of the coach/trainer about what they do and how they go about it, thank you for sharing.

  • Sarae

    Happy to help – works for all sorts of peeps. Ask your clients, coachees or participants to do it as a homework inquiry piece – changes mindsets, changes their frame of reference and gives new evidence to a belief.

  • Daniela

    Not going to lie…really love the pic on this post. Haha 🙂 And the message it really helpful. I like the part about the hook….

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smell your roses – gratitude for what you’ve got

Over the last few weeks, lots of people around me in person and online are talking about gratitude. It’s catching – I’ve been at it too; with clients, friends and even posting photos on my Facebook timelines about it.

What I’ve noticed is when they do it a big fat grin spreads across their face. They seem more alive, more in the moment and more radiant.

How’s it work? One of my favourite people taught me this “energy flows, where attention goes” – thank you Carol x. By recognising what you have to be grateful for in your life, the people around you, inside you and so on turns your attention to these small, but significant pieces of happiness in your life. And small things when brought together make a huge, ginormous collection of wonderful things.

Your energy gets poured into enjoying and cherishing the positives in your life, rather than dwelling on the negatives. The head and the heart take pleasure in this; your mood improves, your energy levels increase to tackle the next thing.

Here’s a glimpse of what’s in my collection right now:

  • Opportunity to learn with likeminded people
  • Collaborating with inspiring people on great client projects
  • A big bunch of my favourite bluey purple hydrangeas

my favourites

  • Having my dinner made for me after a hard, long day
  • My new business cards looking so cute
  • Finding our new wall calendar for 2014 on etsy
  • Enormous smiles on whatsapp from our goddaughter
  • Giving my sister an a-ha moment
  • Oh and how could I forget my sneakers – love, love, love them, but guess you already know that 🙂


Wow even writing that list has made me feel more awake than any coffee or green smoothie could. Why don’t you try it? Take a couple of minutes each day and ask yourself what are you grateful for right now?

Help yourself over that mid-afternoon slump, build momentum to complete a daunting task or person and for moving towards that life stretch you desire.

Create a visual prompt – like this beautiful desktop wallpaper – each time you close down your docs, spread sheets and email, take a split second to count one rose. (This is by the lovely Nicole Wise Sturt) Or use a journal by your bedside to jot your gems down. Why not make a pinterest board?

And to get you rolling, why not share yours in the comments or on the Facebook page?

PS 2 more for my list – I’m grateful to share my b-mails with you and your reading them xx

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be the real authentic you!

Over the years, I’ve taken stacks of courses, workshops, seminars and the like. I find it impossible to encourage others to learn and grow, if I’m not doing it myself. I’m delighted to have a well stocked “kit bag” to dip into. Nothing goes in without my explicit approval.

I often get asked why I bother. Surely I’ve got enough to work with by now? Others might say “yes, you bet I do”, but they’re not me. My answer is “nope, not if I’m to be authentic”. I hold myself up as an example of personal growth and change to my clients, tribe and peers but I’m by no means perfect, nor does it always come easy! I’ve got ambitions and I need to continue to change and stretch myself to get them cracked.

b-elastic came about as a platform to support individuals and groups to explore their purpose in life and career, discover their joys and overcome their pains as they moved to achieving and living their purpose. I combine my love of coaching, training and Pilates to do that. And to be authentic, I invest in my own knowledge, practice and skills to bring more to my clients’ personal change journeys as well as my own.

So this week, no tips, no theory or tools to try out. I invite you to invest in your stretch by pondering a few questions about being the real you and committing to amplifying your authenticity this week. Take some notes, draw a picture or create a mindmap as a memory aid and motivator – put it somewhere you’ll see it every day to keep your motivation.

Your 4 short questions to ponder:

  1. What does authentic mean to you?
  2. How do you live up to your definition of authentic?
  3. List out what you can do to dial up your authenticity
  4. Pick 3 things from your list to do this week – one your head says “doh obvious!”, one that makes your heart sing for joy and one for today to get you started!

Hold yourself accountable for your own authentic change or why not use the comments below or our Facebook page as your accountability partner? Post your 3 actions and I’ll be there to support and cheerlead you through an even more authentic week!

If those questions get you in a spin, why not get in touch? I love helping you explore purpose, goals and ambitions – this type of dilemma is perfect for coaching with me!

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