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midyear is here!

Check your calendar. It’s June already – midyear is here! Time has this crazy flexible nature when going through change in your life, career or relationships.

Back in December, we worked together to build your 2014 vision, plans and goals. Now it’s time to check back in with them to ensure you’re on track or if not, what needs to shift.

Dig out your worksheets, print out some new planner sheets and schedule yourself a few hours to invest in your stretch this week. (Can’t find the planners – look no further: monthly, weekly and daily or if you joined b-mails in 2014, don’t despair! Download the improved workbook here.)

Start back at the beginning: what are you seeking to change? Jot that down or draw a vivid picture. Pop this in front of you to keep it at the front of your mind as you complete your update.

Worksheet 1 was Review 2013 (now Chapter 1 Review your last 12 months). Refresh your memory on your reflections – the highs and lows. Repeat the exercises again for January to June – how have things moved and adapted?

Number 2 was Decode 2013 (now Chapter 2 Decode your year). What insights did you get about yourself, what is really important to you and the gaps you want to close? Looking at the last 6 months, have these changed or do you have more to inform your goals.

The third, Prioritise 2013 (now Chapter 3 Prioritise your goals) asked you to create real clarity of vision and future success on your terms. You related each prioritised goal to your values and beliefs. Do these definitions and associated values and beliefs still hold true? Having got 6 months into your change, do you want or need to amend them?

Our last worksheet was Activate 2014 (now Chapter 4 Activate your next steps) came with the 3 planners. You broke down your goals into manageable steps, identified and mitigated any potential risks before scheduling in your steps in your planners and developing your own mantras and life rules to help motivate you to your future! Have you stuck to your plans? Have the mantras and life rules supported you in the good and the bad times?

I’m here cheering you on whatever you are seeking to do, change or become. I’m 100% positive you can do it. Need something extra from me to get you there – you just need to reach out. Here in the comments. Over on Twitter or Facebook. Jump over to my  Get in touch page and write me a message. Buy a set of coaching sessions. Attend b-more and work with me and a group of likeminded peers. You can do it!

Use the comments to share and celebrate how far you’ve come in the last 6 months. I’m looking forward to some serious whooping and cheering!! 🙂

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why you should be coworking

Have you got a big project or task on your to-do list right now? And probably an ongoing niggle to resolve. And you need find someone to delegate out your not-so-great-at stuff or provide you with some expert guidance. And you need refuelling – a coffee, Earl Grey tea or green smoothie. Plus it would be good to get a bit of fresh air and movement to your day.

Where are you working? Your sofa? Corner of your spare room? Kitchen table? Or your local free wifi pub or cafe? These are all great options, however every now and again, you need to add a bit of variety! I want to explain why I think you should be coworking.

You’ll be networking without any effort, no pretence, no hard selling tactics – just building great relationships with people like us. People with personal and professional ambitions AND a genuine desire to see others succeed alongside them. Let me tell you why b-more’s growing community will deliver you solutions, energy and joy.

A source of inspiration

Need new ideas on how to tackle an issue? Ask a b-more attendee.

Need a different perspective to understand how others do something? Ask a b-more attendee.

Need to learn a skill or piece of knowledge? Ask a b-more attendee.

At b-more, we include a short Q&A session when you can ask for help, guidance and support.

Calling for collaboration

Whether you need an extra pair of hands in your business, a peer’s insight to help you build a product, service or deliverable or simply a sounding board, you’ll find them through coworking.

Formal collaborations might include joint ventures, becoming an associate or employing someone directly. This gives you access to fresh content, fresh options and potentially more time to focus elsewhere.

Informal collaboration could be a chance to pick the brain of someone else on that niggling concern, asking to rehearse a key conversation or getting an independent point of view on something you’re too close to see straight anymore!

At b-more, you can use the short “show and tell” session to voice your request to find the right person in the room or get connected to an absent friend.

Broaden your horizons

Working in isolation, you can have a lightbulb moment of a new possibility but it’s also easy to get a little doubtful that you’re heading the right way. Either way, your head ends up spinning on the same few thoughts and the fog thickens. The relationships you build at b-more will provide you with safe, trusted advice and motivation to help pin down your next step.

Add to that additional PR, as your b-more peers share your new line or product. You’ll find yourself connected to a wider pool of potential customers and new revenue streams.

What are you waiting for?  Join us at b-more and be part of a supportive, energetic group who want you to be successful! Meet-ups are usually about 5-6 hours long, with 2 short breaks to shift our eye’s focus off the screens and onto “show and tell” or Q&A, plus a social celebration of being together, our successes and our efforts!

The next b-more meet-up is on Tuesday 10th June at Timberyard, near the Seven Dials and Covent Garden. Reserve your seat here: http://www.b-elastic.com/home/b-more-coworking/

Can’t make that date, but want to hear about the next one? Sign up in the sidebar box on the same page 🙂

Not in London? Don’t worry – check out  UK Jelly, the home of coworking all over the country. Search by locations and you’ll see your options pop up in front of you.

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fear – move with it (part 2)

Last week’s b-mail looked at doing with your fears and leaving them behind you. That’s an ok strategy if they are holding you back, but what if they are driving you forward?

When looking at what future “you” is doing, enjoying and living, you could be driven by a fear that pushes you out of your comfort zone and motivates your actions. And can help you create new habits – ways of being and doing.

A real tangible example is when you begin to change the way you look after your body. Completing workouts with energy left over for more fun with your family and friends, then “falling off the wagon”.

You miss a few sessions and your hard work starts to come undone, but you’ve had a taste of the good stuff (endorphins, the happy hormone) followed by those old feelings – you sleep less well, the wobbly bits get a bit more wobbly again and your energy drops. You love those new feelings and the results you see. Fear that you’ll return to your old ways keep you accountable.

Or perhaps, you’re studying a programme that will enable you to switch jobs or career paths. It’s a gate keeper – no certificate, no go. But it’s haaaaaard. Fitting in study around your hectic diary and the many demands on your time. Plus you know that you are gonna rock that new job, take your new field up to a whole new benchmark. Fear that you’ll never see those new highs, because of a few missed hours study, makes you shift your priorities and build support from those around you to maximise your time.

To help you understand and harness your changes, I’ve created a little worksheet for you to download and keep handy. It seeks to help you understand your change or stretch in more depth and give you the drivers to help you move with your fear.

Download your copy here.

What fear is driving you on to you goal? How do you harness its power? Share your fear moving tactics in the comments.

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fear – no place to hide (part 1)

Recently, I watched Monsters University – yep I know, late comer to that party! Mike, the loveable green eyeball, identifies his life ambition is to be a scarer. The monster that jumps out of your cupboard, creeps up from under your bed or creates those weird shadows on the wall. All this monitored and measured by the amount of screams generated.

Each of us has our own crew of monsters. They really enjoy the status quo and what it offers them but pop-up and surprise us, when we’re trying to add some stretch in our lives.

These monsters create a place to hide and stop you achieving by generating fear. They remove the certainty that nothing unexpected is going to happen. They prevent the risk of failure. They ensure no-one points their fingers and judges your decisions or direction.

They want to paralyse you. They want to keep you firmly in your current patterns of behaviour, performing your habitual tasks and routines.

Why? They’re comfortable and allowing you to change, grow and develop means them getting uncomfortable and ultimately, reduced to being memories.

Fear is a complex beast – if only it were as simple as making sure the curtains are properly closed and that final check under the bed before switching off the light. Some fears require counselling to release them, others can be transformed through positive coaching and some by investing your time and efforts in seeking solutions.

Here’s 4 strategies that I deploy when the monsters sneak up:

1. Practice, Practice, Practice

The first time for anything is scary. The second time is a bit more predictable and by the third it’s starting to come more naturally. How?

  • repeat the skills: a talented musician undertakes their show piece in its totality AND in its smaller components, whether a tricky phrase or a difficult fingering.
  • get an audience: ok, you can’t necessarily get in front of the actual people, but I’m sure you can find a friend or peer who will “sit” in and play your audience for you. They can do it nicely or they can play it mean, moody or emotional – whatever helps you build your best performance.

Experiencing something helps build your confidence, answer any concerns and can grow your motivation.

2. Worse possible outcome

Our imaginations are powerful tools, when they work for us. When they work against us, they can create not just monsters, but terrible disasters. We picture ourselves caught out, making fools of ourselves, laughter or screams ringing in our ears. You need to change the film genre. How?

  • make it a comedy: in this new version, you get to dress the characters in costume, change the scenery and location, add a twist with a rainstorm, add some new actors. Importantly, you get to make the outcome side-achingly funny.
  • make it a kid’s movie: this time the plot gets simplified. Strip out complexity by seeing it with a child’s eyes and knowledge. Words spoken are easier to understand, body language hides nothing and our perspective is altered – solutions appear and helpers drop in resulting in a happy ending.

Or pick your favourite genre, what ploys and story lines norms shift your rotten tomato reviewed film into a blockbuster?

3. Small steps

Fear sometimes comes from a sense of overwhelm – the change or stretch you want being just toooooo much for you. Imagine your goal and all it requires of you as a giant buffet. There’s dips and chips, there’s all sorts of colourful salads, then further along come the pastas and the fill ’em up items – fish, meat and carb-alicious potatoes and breads. Next up are the bakes. Then cakes, trifles, fruits all accomplished by juices, smoothies, waters, teas and more.

No-one can eat it all in one sitting or on their own – yep not even you, Ms or Mr Superhero! Take a plate and plan your first portion – pick something you know. Eat and digest. Pick a bowl, use your chopsticks, fingers or a fork. Be brave – go spicy!

Apply this principle to your goal. What are the different elements? What are you familiar with? What requires a little more effort or skill to complete? Where do you need to be a bit braver?

4. Recognise your progress

The best fear killer I know. Celebrate your successes. Big ones. Small ones. Let me share a personal and current example I’m working on.

In June, I’m launching an afternoon co-working event. My fear? That it will be a giant flop. No-one will come and those who do will hate each other, never to attend again!

Over the weekend, I found my venue. It’s perfect. High speed wifi, easy to get to, amazing menu and a quirky, upbeat vibe. What did I do? I had a little celebration on Facebook – check out those cakes!

Several people wrote me messages about attending. Others said how great the place looked. And my fears got squished – maybe not totally gone, but already smaller and less powerful.

What’s your fear and how are you going to bring it out of hiding this week? Share your fear killers, new movies and successes in the comments.

PS Interested in joining me in June? Watch out for more updates on Facebook by liking my page.

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nourish me – 60 self-care activities

Are you driven? Busy all the time? Squeezing in the last email or a quick clear up before bed. Multitasking is your way of life. Listening to your other half or kids, whilst eating your breakfast and drying your hair. Catching up on your TV viewing whilst ironing or doing your filing. Reading 3 books at once and hardly taking any of them in. Groceries arriving by delivery from a favourites list each week.

Sound familiar? Hmmmm how’s that working out for you? Do you find yourself brimming full of energy, bouncing out of bed ready and raring to get going with you day? Or perhaps you struggle to find the motivation and effort necessary to keep juggling all your tasks, responsibilities and your change actions.

Training programmes for elite sportspeople incorporate variety, focus AND recovery days, which include treats, relaxation and restorative activities. Bankers, hedge fund managers and city professionals are fitting in mindfulness practice into their hours at desks. Yoga pods and corporate fitness classes are popping up at workplaces near you……actually, what are you doing to build in some self-care into your life?

Nourishing yourself – body and mind – is key to achieving your life goals, building a career you love and relationships that count as well as maintaining your health and fitness.

I certainly notice when my self-care goes out the window. I’m grouchy and snappy due to a lack of proper sleep. My tummy bloats out ridiculously as I eat badly. My body feels heavy and doesn’t enjoy Pilates classes. I struggle to make decisions and easily distract myself from the task in hand.

So this week I’m pledging to add more self care into my life and nourish me. I’ve brainstormed a giant list of possible ways and challenge you to pick a few to add to your week.

  1. Take a walk or bike ride (fancy a challenge? Do it for charity – we’ve signed up here)
  2. Visit the beach
  3. A looooong bath at the end of the day
  4. Big green smoothies to start the day
  5. Finding overgrown grass and putting my bare feet in it
  6. Lying outside and staring up at the sky
  7. Cooking my favourite meal (tom kha soup with extra tofu a la Rosa’s)
  8. Get up early and watch the sunrise
  9. Read an inspirational book
  10. Re-read an old favourite
  11. Write a gratitude diary
  12. Play with my dogs (ok this one is future tense!)
  13. Snuggle up with someone dear
  14. Go somewhere new
  15. Try new things in general – food, activity, workspace
  16. Meditate
  17. Play music and do the kitchen dance (or invent your own family dance moves)
  18. Meet a friend
  19. Eat your 5 a day in fruit and veggies
  20. Be super present in the moment
  21. Get more sleep
  22. Stop multitasking
  23. Schedule me time everyday
  24. Do some sports – Pilates, yoga, gym class, run (Fancy these at your workplace? Arrange them with Sally at Stretching the City)
  25. Visit the hairdressers
  26. Paint your toes
  27. Get a really good sports massage (I recommend Physio in the City’s brilliant team)
  28. Bake a cake
  29. Paint or knit or sew
  30. Learn something new – do a class (try entheos)
  31. Set new personal limits for myself
  32. Indulge in a little retail therapy
  33. Enjoy my morning coffee or afternoon tea break
  34. Take a multivitamin and probiotic
  35. Ditch the lightbulbs and use candles for mood lighting
  36. Ditch the alarm clock
  37. Do a crossword or sudoku puzzle
  38. Buy a small box of expensive handmade chocolate
  39. See a movie
  40. Breath deeply
  41. Pick or buy some bright blooms
  42. Write a postcard or letter to your nan
  43. Plant herbs outside your windows
  44. Practice mindfulness
  45. Order a posh cocktail
  46. Let the wind blow through your hair
  47. Download eclectic playlists from Spotify
  48. See a band or orchestra play live
  49. Join a bookclub
  50. Dress up (inspiration – #StylemeMay via Dean Street Society)
  51. Laugh out loud
  52. Cry until your nose runs
  53. Take a hot shower
  54. Volunteer at a local charity
  55. Play being a tourist in your town, village or city
  56. Turn off all laptops, phones and ipads at least 60 minutes before bedtime
  57. Read the Sunday papers from cover to cover in bed
  58. See play or musical
  59. Download and display an inspirational poem, quote or image.
  60. Reading blogs from people who are honest and care about you (i.e. mine 🙂 )

Crikey – Think that gives me and you plenty to choose from and show ourselves more self-care.

Pick just a few and let me know in the comments what difference it makes to your life, your  head, your heart and your body this week. Or have you got another nourishment to add to the list? Pop it in the comments too.

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